Do I dare discuss religion?
Many adoptive parents believe that it was God who gave them the miracle of their child, and many times when the wait seems to become unbearable, advice and consolation such as "God's timing is perfect" is given.
But shouldn't God have given our child's birth parents the miracle of raising their child, and shouldn't God have made the timing perfect for this child's biological parents? Why should His timing be perfect for us but not them?
I really have a hard time with the notion that God meant this child to grow up with us as their parents. Surely He did not mean for a birth mother to go through so much pain and anguish so I could experience the joy of parenting her child. How can He plan for one woman to have to make such a difficult choice and a child to experience so much loss?
I am struggling with wrapping my head around the concept that this is how things were meant to be, for all that are involved.
I have always believed that things in my life have happened for a reason, and it's been an amazing ride. And while I can embrace that adoption is a miracle in my life, my heart breaks for this unknown woman who will go through a loss I cannot even begin to imagine, and I currently fail to see how this pregnancy could have happened for a reason that will ultimately lead her to a place of happiness.
I like your thoughtful blog and I have to pause at this one. As a Christian I know what is trying to be said by Christians sounds 'self-centered'. There's a biblical story in the bible about Joseph who was betrayed and sold by his brothers into slavery. When they are reunited years later, Joseph is the 2nd in power in Egypt and has helped survive a Big Famine in the country. He says to his brothers when they are repentant, something to this effect...what you meant for evil, but God meant it for Good. In another words, God turned the evil to be used for his good purposes. In the same way, although the situation of a BM giving up a baby is awful(evil almost), God can use a bad situation to bless the child through a good family and hopefully a good life. Just a thought.
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