Saturday, August 29, 2009

This should not be taking this long

You are sick of listening to me whine about the lack of I-600A approval, and I am sick of waiting and wondering what went wrong this time. I have semi-official confirmation that this is taking way too long, and it looks like our agency is going to contact USCIS soon to ask about the status of our application *gasp*. Contacting USCIS is a huge deal, since they are usually not to be bothered, and since contacting them makes them like you even less and can even have an adverse effect on the speed your paperwork is being processed at. In this state, we all live in fear of the USCIS lady! By now I am scared that they are going to deny us, which is actually pretty unheard of, but with all the mishaps we've already had, who knows.

I am honestly feeling like I am making this whole adoption thing up. I will soon be travelling to Germany and had planned to do some shopping for the baby, as some of the things available in Germany are hard to come by here, but I really don't think I can get myself to buy anything for this elusive baby. I mean, we're not even offically waiting on a referral!

Since we moved in our home, which was previoulsy inhabited by a family with 3 children, we've been on the receiving end of tons upon tons of catalogs and magazines pertaining to babies, children, and all things purchasable for them. I browse through them, but don't even feel like this stuff will ever be applicable to me.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Waiting Parents

This week we had another Waiting Parents Meeting, an event that I usually look forward to. This time, I felt apprehensive about going, and I left a little sad.

There was an awesome speaker (check out her blog: who talked about raising her two Korean-born children. Originally the topic was supposed to be how to integrate your child's culture into your family's life, but we ended up discussing all sorts of topics related to adoption and raising children.

We caught up with the people we already knew, and as always, met some new people. I really enjoy chatting with everyone, but this time I have to admit that I became a little jealous of how fast everyone else is moving along. It seems as if everyone is speeding through the USCIS approval process and is then receiving their referral in record speed as well. Of course I am happy for those families, but I am also jealous that our process is so much slower than everyone else's. One couple there submitted their home study to USCIS in January and is about to travel to Korea to pick up their son. That's only 7 months!

This whine brings me to something that Margie, our speaker, said. She talked about how, when she went through the process of adopting her first child, the finish line was bringing her baby home. She said that in her mind, everything would be okay once she had that baby in her arms. But really, that is not the end, but the very beginning.

Right now, I am in that place where I obsess about the process of bringing a baby home. I don't believe that having that baby home will make me any happier, make any of my mundane problems go away (probably the opposite!) , or make my life more interesting. I also know that it's really not about just getting a baby home, but it's about raising that child. Yet my thoughts are consumed with timelines and paperwork. For me, right now, the finish line is bringing home our child. It's going to be the end of this chapter of our lives, but also the beginning of a completely different life, one that I can't even begin to imagine. Maybe that is why for many of us in the process our fairy tale ending is having our child home - the journey we are on right now is real, whatever lies in the future is beyond anything that we can imagine.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Back to Waiting on USCIS

We're in our new house! We were so lucky, once the last box was in the house it started pouring. Now we're busy unpacking and learning our way around our new neighborhood. I can't go anywhere without my GPS.

It's a total culture shock going from being so close to the city to the suburbs, but I am sure we will get used to it soon.

Our social worker came to see us on Sunday and we made our way through the boxes to show her around the house. It was a quick visit, and we were done within an hour.

Today our agency notified us that they sent the updated home study and all supporting documents to USCIS. Yay! I really hope that the 9 - 12 week wait for approval does not start all over. And I hope that this time around we actually do get an approval!