A Visit to the Real World

On Friday was my first day back at work after 7 weeks at home. We are lucky that the husband only works 4 days a week and will be able to be with Ben when I am at work one day a week until I return full time in 6 weeks (which I am not thinking about, it makes me break out in hives).

We decided to adopt pretty much at the same time that I started this job, so I can say that I spent almost every single moment that I have been at this job thinking about our adoption. Our agency is 2 blocks away from my office and every morning I would wonder if this was the day that I would find out about clearances, homestudy appointments, homestudy submission, referral, legals, travel call...

So Friday was the first day that I went to work and did not feel compelled to stalk the boards and blogs for timeline information. It was weird!

It was great to see my work friends, and it's really good to know that I am missed. I did have some anxiety about job security, but was reassured that my job is waiting for me.

I keep on saying this, but time is just flying by, so on one hand it felt like I was only gone for a blink of the eye. On the other hand, I was able to truly appreciate adult conversation, the Friday morning tradition of a bagel and coffee run, and lunch out (in a restaurant, with adults).

I missed my little Ben a lot, and it was wonderful to come home to him. Spending an entire day away from him made me appreciate and enjoy him so much more this weekend.

Wordless... Thursday

(This is ALCOHOL FREE, the bottle was empty and it was washed. He did get it out of the recycling can though).

Welcome!

The US government realizes that this country is super lucky to have Ben. So far he's gotten two welcome notices, just after I got scared that his paperwork might have gotten lost. The guy at the airport customs office had told us that they are not supposed to take care of the paperwork, so for all I knew, he could've just put it in the trash.

Back in the day I got 4 or 5 letters, and then they sent my greencard to the wrong address. Hopefully Ben's greencard will make it to the correct address and hopefully the card will have his correct info! I can't wait to be done with USCIS one day....

Raising a bilingual child

I love Germany. I do. I really miss living there and I am sad that my child won't grow up there.

This, to me, is home. Or one of the places I call home.

This is a crummy picture, taken while riding in my dad's car. But just looking at it I can smell the fresh cut grass, the fresh bread in the bakery next to the church, and the clean mountain air. I can hear the cowbells, the tractors and the churchbells. And all of this is just 25 minutes from a major city. I miss it!

This being said, German is one of the most unattractive languages that exist. I actually cringe when I hear someone I don't talk to on a regular basis speak German. When I visit Germany, I can't listen to the radio or watch TV because I just can't take it.

I never gave much thought to raising a bilingual child, I think I always expected it to come naturally. Of course I would speak to my child in my native language. Or would I?

I have to admit that I have said maybe five German sentences to Ben in the past month. I don't know why, but I can't get myself to speak German to him! Is it because the language is atrocious? Or is it because my life here is lived in English? Maybe it's because I am lazy (that's probably it).

I really think it would benefit him to grow up knowing two languages, and until I can force him to go to Korean school in three or four years, German is the only thing I can teach him.

So, as of this afternoon, I vow to only speak German with my child. Good luck to me!

Wordless Wednesday (today is Wednesday, right?)

A boy and his remote

Today was the first time I turned on the TV since we've been home (except for that one time I tried to show Ben an episode of a German children's show that I love). I've been home all day every day and have not seen one episode of Oprah or Ellen, not to mention all of the shows I used to watch at night. Today I figured I will turn on the TV, whether or not my mom thinks it will ruin him for life. It's going to be on all day!

Four weeks ago...

was our family day!

Where oh where has time gone?

In my entire life time has never flown by as quickly as it has these past weeks! I honestly don't know where the hours, days, and weeks have gone! I feel as if I am just slowly getting settled into a new normal. I cannot believe how much other people get accomplished during their first weeks home (Kim, how on earth did you plan Kyle's dol during his first month home?)

Tomorrow we have our first post placement visit. We were supposed to have it earlier this week, but they needed to find a new social worker for us and thus it was rescheduled for tomorrow. Proctastinator that I am, I have still not printed the pictures or filled out the forms. Bad habit, I know.

Today Ben had another playdate, this time with his little friend Wylie. Wylie is also from Korea and the boys are only one day apart in age! Ben did okay, as long as he was in his high chair or on my lap. Wylie however is the happiest baby I have ever seen, smiling and laughing the entire time. I really hope these two get to grow up together!

Ben is getting better and better with pulling himself up to a stand and he can now sit back down after standing up. He crawls really fast (which is scary). He still loves to eat. Time in the high chair is always happy time. He still hates the carseat. I can make it to the grocery store, but that's it. He is also still iffy on the stroller and most of the time I end up with my bag in the stroller and the baby on my arm.

Sleep is still an issue. We still co-sleep, but I'd love to have him take one nap in his crib, so I can get a little bit of stuff done around the house. I love having the Beco, but it's still hard to do stuff with 24 pounds strapped to me! Yesterday I actually got in his crib with him and he did end up napping in it. I wonder if the crib is built to hold my weight?

Meeting his future wife

Today I finally met my friend Kim and her gorgeous daughter Lyla in person. Kim and I met online while waiting for our babies to come home and sent many, many emails over the months. I would say that we kept each other's sanity, but we probably just drove each other crazier ;-)

As you can see, Ben didn't do too well with his girlfriend. She actually took one of his toys and he just couldn't believe it. Poor Ben will have to grow a pair and hold on to his stuff! In midst of all of this was Casper the cat, who LOVED Lyla.

Hopefully the next playdate will go better!

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10 months old!

My baby boy is 10 months old today!
(Note the outfit! It's hard to read, but it says Ben's Banana Stand)

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there - whether your children are home or you are still waiting to hold them in your arms.

I was showered with gifts and cards from friends and my husband and son.

Hubby was a little upset yesterday with his surprise flower delivery. Apparently he had ordered an arrangement of colorful flowers and what showed up was a bunch of broken white daisies. I thought it was hilarious! He complained and a couple of hours later the right arrangement arrived so now I have two! They even re-wrote the note, only this time it thanked me for raising our sons LOL.

This morning I got to sleep in and when I got up hubby made a delicious breakfast and Ben and daddy gave me their cards. Now my two boys are napping and I got some dishes and laundry done. Later I am hoping for a trip to Home Depot!

Even though the last couple of weeks have been kind of rough, I feel so honored and blessed that I get to be Ben's mom. It blows my mind every day that I get to see this awesome little person grow up!

I talked to my own mom this morning and wish I could see her in person today. I miss having my mom close by and I wish she could see her grandchild grow up.

Even though in Korea Mother's Day isn't celebrated (they have Parent's Day instead), I am keeping both Ben's birth and foster mothers in my thoughts today. I actually think of them every day and those two women hold a very special place in my heart.

We're having an awesome day!

Ben and I are having an awesome day. He sorta slept until 6 (with the help of 4 nighttime bottles) and was in a very good mood overall today. And we're having two naps today, so I get to rest and even get some stuff done. We got our adoption announcements in the mail yesterday and I already addressed some and mailed them! So excited!

The last two days were, well, not so great. After my post on... I forget what day it was, they all blend together. Anyway, after my last post I had the trip from h*** to the nursery. After a lot of crying in the car, we got o the nursery. Meanwhile, Ben had escalated to screaming. I got him out of the car seat and nearly broke my back and went looking for a cart to set him in. No cart with seat, only pull carts available. So I put on my Beco. Which still takes me forever to figure out! Meanwhile, Ben was still screaming and people were looking at me funny. I finally got him in the Beco, but something wasn't quite right. So I took him out again. Baby was still screaming. Eventually I got it right and picked my plants and then got to the register. Ben was screaming again. The lady rang up my plants and I handed her my credit card. They don't take our brand of card. Okay, fine. I tried the next card. It expired! I gave her my last card that I know doesn't have enough money on it. Declined, of course. So I trapsed off with my screaming baby and will not return to this place out of shame. It doesn't end there. Ben screamed in his car seat almost all the way home and all of a sudden he went quiet. I thought he had died! So I pulled over to check on him and of course he was fast asleep. I am totally laughing about this now, but it wasn't so funny when it happened.

What to write, what to write...

While I am exhausted at the end of the day, I find myself not being able to think of anything exciting to talk about. Don't get me wrong, I love my little Ben and it's awesome to see him learn new things every day (currently he loves to pull himself up to a stand and laugh and say "up"), but it's still quite an adjustment for me. I remember when the first of my close friends back in Germany had her first baby and all of a sudden all she could talk about was poopy diapers and other baby things and I was bored out of my mind every time we talked. So while I am still not the kind of person who can only think about baby stuff, now when I talk to my friends and parents I actually do not have anything else to talk about. Of course I want to talk about my awesome son, but oh how I'd love to have something else to talk about too!

In an effort to do something semi-productive today I am going to brave the carseat drama and venture to a nursery to buy some more plants for our yard. I can't blame the little guy for hating the car seat, especially when I try to put him in. I am way too clumsy and I am waiting for either me or him to break a bone. I finally get why people with kids have minivans!

Okay, naptime is over, off we go....

Happy Baby