Monday, August 2, 2010

I want to do this again!

Every new parent gets this question in one form or another: "So, when are you going to have the next one?"

For the past few months I have looked at people like they were completely insane when they asked me this.

I knew and read about other adoptive families who added to their family just shortly before we did and said that they can't wait to adopt again. Why on earth did anyone want to do this again, I wondered. How could anyone WANT to deal with more than one child?

And I really wasn't sure about those who already had more than one child at home. How could they possibly cope with the insanity?

At some point I started thinking about whether or not we might want a sibling for Ben. With Korea's rumored closing of its international adoption program in 2012 I felt pressured to think about what I would want years down the road, which, of course, is impossible to tell even for people less impulsive than me.

And all of a sudden, there it was, the feeling that I want to do this again!

It's been long enough where the nightmare of the first weeks and months has faded somewhat, but the memories of the adoption highs are still very vivid.

I am not sure if this longing for another is the actual want for another child. So many points can be made for only having one child. Like the ability to fully concentrate on Ben. The ability to show him the world. Don't even get me started on logistics - feeding, diapers, shopping - eek! And how could we ever possibly be this lucky again? I feel like we've won the jackpot with our little man, tantrums and all. How could I ever love another child as much as I love him? Isn't that impossible?

But how awesome would it be to experience all of this again? How wonderful would it be to give Ben, who is so slow to warm up to others, a built-in playmate.

At this point I am trying to figure out whether I have this new obsession because I am still in love with the process and miss my highs, or if I maybe feel like Ben is growing up so quickly and I am missing out on so much that I want another chance, or whether I will actually want another child to add to the craziness.


  1. Exciting stuff to consider. Though I probably shouldn't dole out any advice right now ;)

  2. I also want to do it again! I also would not even consider adopting again after the first month, but now Kyle has been home 4 months, I cannot image my life without him. I know it will be difficult running after two children but I have always wanted two and want to do it before I get too old:-)

  3. Yeah, I'm still giving people the "are you crazy?!" looks when they ask me... ;)

  4. Oh man, I never understood how people could have just one kid ... until I had one ... and then I wondered how anyone could have more than one. But I'm sure once I'm out of the thick of it, I'll want another one ... eventually. So congrats on getting to that point already!! I think Ben will thank you for giving him a sibling :)

  5. I think I'm still early in the process. But I was thinking about it before Matthew came home. I looked at those 80 babies in the Eastern nursery and I knew that they needed a home. I think Ben should have a sibling. How great would that be!

  6. You are my hero - after all the adjustment you went through, you came out on the other side and want to do it again! You Go Girl!! The suburbs must be agreeing with you! LOL