New this week

Ben is walking! Well, sort of. He took his first steps at least. They were two tiny little timid steps. He was holding my iPhone, which he loves, and I don't think he noticed what he was doing. It was adorable! He's "walked" two more times, but only took one step each time. Now he loves to push his walker around the house and into things. I just wish the person who gave it to us would've picked a model with no sounds!

He now also points to (or rather up) his nose when you say "nose". He also points to his nose when you say "mouth" or "ears". I still think he's the smartest thing ever.

This weekend we're prepping for the arrival of my parents next week. The house needs a good cleaning, and unfortunately I did not inherit my mother's love of cleaning and organizing. Fortunately my household and yard will be taken care of while my parents are here. I am super excited they are coming and finally meeting their only grandson!

My boy at 13 months

Ben is developing so quickly, and I am scared I will forget all of his firsts if I don't write them down.

Things he is doing at a little over 13 months old:

• He walks while holding our hands. He is getting really good and quick! He loves to walk in circles in our living room/kitchen.


• He loves to turn lights on and off. And on and off again. And again. You get the gist. One day I showed him a light switch to distract him from a temper tantrum and now he points to light switches and wants to turn them on and off all.the.time


• He feeds himself with a spoon - sort of. I have to load the food on the spoon, hand it to little man, who then either stuffs it in his mouth or waves it around so the food lands on the wall, and then hands me back the empty spoon to be refilled.


• He gives sloppy open mouthed kisses without us prompting him to! It's the cutest thing.


• He still loves his highchair and will sit for hours and lecture us with a pointed finger and loud babbling.


• The other day he finally sat in the shopping cart for almost the entire trip through the grocery store. I usually put him in the Beco, but this time I wanted to run to the store right after daycare and didn't have the carrier with us. So, it was either carry him and have my arm fall off right after the bakery section, or have him sit in the cart. And to my surprise sit he did!
• Daycare taught him how to use a sippy cup and he loves it! It's his comfort item.
• He has discovered that his index finger fits perfectly in his nose.

Unexpected side effects of motherhood

I think it is safe to say that I went into motherhood completely clueless, but still, some aspects of it surprise me more than others.


Like that people now forgive me for much of my clumsiness. It has always taken me forever to get the car loaded after the trip to the grocery store, and even longer for me to get in the car and get situated. Now people think it's because of the baby and smile and laugh at me.


Trying to get a door opened to go into a store - always a challenge (push, pull - why is it so heavy anyway?). Now with a baby, people will actually help me.


I am surprised by the amount of compassion I get from other people, mostly older women, when I am out and about with an unruly child. They smile and say "don't worry, mine were like that too".


All of a sudden it is perfectly acceptable to come to work totally exhausted. Other moms will group around and share why they haven't slept in weeks.


Other side effects have to do with my outlook on life. All of I sudden I, Miss Quiet, am speaking up for myself. I asked my work for flexible hours, which they granted (on a trial basis). I never ever expected this! I have also applied to our county's adult education division to teach a class for prospective adoptive parents (kind of along the lines of "Things to consider before adopting"). I figured I might as well put my obsession with adoption to good use. Again, I was super surprised that they are even considering it and I got an interview for next week.


Being a mom has made me rethink my priorities in life once again, and while of course being the best mommy I can has become a priority, I have also realized that I do not only have an obligation to my child, but also to myself to go beyond my comfortzone, grow, and enjoy my life.

Finally - the big city!

I have been dying to go to DC and last weekend we finally went!
First was a yummy lunch in Georgetown, then a quick museum visit, and then a picnic on the Mall.

I want to do this again!

Every new parent gets this question in one form or another: "So, when are you going to have the next one?"

For the past few months I have looked at people like they were completely insane when they asked me this.

I knew and read about other adoptive families who added to their family just shortly before we did and said that they can't wait to adopt again. Why on earth did anyone want to do this again, I wondered. How could anyone WANT to deal with more than one child?

And I really wasn't sure about those who already had more than one child at home. How could they possibly cope with the insanity?

At some point I started thinking about whether or not we might want a sibling for Ben. With Korea's rumored closing of its international adoption program in 2012 I felt pressured to think about what I would want years down the road, which, of course, is impossible to tell even for people less impulsive than me.

And all of a sudden, there it was, the feeling that I want to do this again!

It's been long enough where the nightmare of the first weeks and months has faded somewhat, but the memories of the adoption highs are still very vivid.

I am not sure if this longing for another is the actual want for another child. So many points can be made for only having one child. Like the ability to fully concentrate on Ben. The ability to show him the world. Don't even get me started on logistics - feeding, diapers, shopping - eek! And how could we ever possibly be this lucky again? I feel like we've won the jackpot with our little man, tantrums and all. How could I ever love another child as much as I love him? Isn't that impossible?

But how awesome would it be to experience all of this again? How wonderful would it be to give Ben, who is so slow to warm up to others, a built-in playmate.

At this point I am trying to figure out whether I have this new obsession because I am still in love with the process and miss my highs, or if I maybe feel like Ben is growing up so quickly and I am missing out on so much that I want another chance, or whether I will actually want another child to add to the craziness.

Weekend Activities

My weekend started early - around 1 p.m. on Thursday I got a call that Ben had a fever and needed to be picked up from daycare. By the time I got home it was around 102.5 and I called the doctor asking whether they thought I should bring him in. Yes, I am totally clueless. I gave him a dose of Tylenol and went to the doctor's office, where I ended up waiting 1.5 hours, even though they gave me an appointment over the phone. I did not have my Beco with me and my arms were just about to fall off when it was finally our turn. They couldn't find anything wrong with him and home I went again. I checked his temp again - it was 104.9!!!!!!!!!!!!! Needless to say I totally panicked. I gave more medicine and it seemed to help. Poor Ben was out of it most of that afternoon and slept from 7 until 7 the next morning with only one brief wake up at midnight. Friday I stayed home with a cranky baby, but at least the temp was much lower.


Saturday we saw some major teething and grumpiness, but the fever was gone completely. There was a huge Asian festival literally down the street from us, and we decided to take a look. Needless to say, someone small and grumpy was not very impressed by it. Unfortunately I did not see one thing that could qualify as Korean.

"Asian festival? Who cares?"
On Sunday we ventured to his friend Liam's Dol all the way to the neighboring state. It was the longest drive we've made with him (40 minutes) and luckily he slept on the way there. We will not be discussing the drive home. We had a great time there and met some other adoptive families, which is always a bonus.